Right-handed Resolution!

You think you’re you
You don’t know who you are
You’re not you.

You’re everyone else.



A New Year’s Resolution post may be a little late at this point but oh well.

I, as a left-handed person, have decided to join the dark side.. Well, not really,  I’m still all about being a lefty.  I just am thoroughly tired of my right hand being absolutely useless.  My resolution for 2014 is to have the fine tuned dexterity of my left hand developed in my right.  I’ve been writing, drawing, and painting with it.  Writing is proving to be the most difficult of tasks, I can draw relatively well, though it takes much more time than with my dominant hand.  The idea is if i can get writing down, all other skills will be automatically instilled.

Before all of this, I was not strictly left-handed.  This could be because many things are only made ‘right hand accessible’ and utterly useless in a left hand.  I have a tendency to favor my right hand when it comes to the use of more crude tools such as saws, wrenches, drills, and other such things.

My goal is to be able to take down notes simultaneously as i sketch supporting ideas.  My project process is very heavily note-based, though visuals are obviously a large factor as well.  I have two hands and I feel plain stupid to only be able to make use of one of them.


Negativity: Why I Stopped Looking At Anything

“I try and I try and I try to look away,
the fighting inside is the reason that I stay.”


In my freshman year of high school, my sculpture teacher went over how he views negative space. Though it was more of a hobbyist’s class, I had become absolutely enraptured by the idea that for every piece made, there is a second- a potentially more interesting work within the ‘nothingness’. He completely reversed my perspective of, well, everything.

“Hello, hello! Welcome to your first jewelry and sculpture making class,” Mr. Bech bellowed across the room. He isn’t a very imposing man, though he evokes much authority. Average height, narrow shoulders, Bech walks with a certain confidence. Eagerly he swipes a propped up calender from his desk and recites the joke of the day: “Did you hear the one about the one-armed fisherman?” An awkward silence rises into the air. “He caught a fish THIS big!” He beamed as he spread only one arm out for measurement. The class feeds into the cricket’s song. A very select few smirk, I among them, for I’m a sucker for a bad pun. He searches the crowd’s faces for hints of like-minded jokesters. Grinning deeply, he stresses all the wrinkles on his face, all of which being from many years of light-heartedness and jest. There’s not one grouch line to be seen.

“Today, we’re going to talk a bit about negative space. Nothing on sculptures today.” He harshly places a small, nonsensical structure of oak tag on the front desk and goes on. “This is a sculpture made up of a cube, a cone, and a C-shaped prism, but we’re not going to talk about that. What do you see besides all that? What makes up the rest of the piece?”

Many fidgeted uncomfortably in their just as stiff seats and averted their hollow glance from Bech’s direction. Deepening the silence, he spread his gaze across his audience, eyes bright with anticipation. “You couldn’t possibly have missed the lockers behind the sculpture! Or the stools and workbench! Just look at the frame the doorway and wall right around it- it’s really a quite interesting piece..” Train of thought degrading, his closed hand rises to just under his chin as he gazes fondly at the space around the piece. “The first thing to recognize about sculpture is that it doesn’t end where it ends.” His self declared wit got the better of him and he chuckled a bit. “It’s all the space around the piece that makes it; it’s invaluable that you keep that in mind when working on your own projects.”

I always keep that in mind now. Mr. Bech continues to affect the work I make, even if it’s a drawing or painting. Negative space too often goes neglected, so I keep it on the top shelf of importance when setting up any piece.
He never knew the impact his speech had on me and I never spoke to him more than what the assignments needed, but he remains one of the prominent characters of my past. 

At Least I Know I’ll Never Sleep At Night

“at least I know I’ll never
sleep at night,
I’ll always lie awake
until the mo(u)rning light.
this is something that I’ll never control.
my nerves will be the death of me,

I know.”

City and Colour


I’m so perturbed today..

Just got an email about a 103 dollar ATM withdraw from my bank account and I haven’t been to the bank.

Which bank was it withdrawn from?  A citizen’s bank- I’m wells fargo..

Where is this bank?  Down the street from my parents’ house. Yes, my mother withdrew money from my account.

Why you may ask?  Well, it’s quite simple:  she decided she wanted the money she gave to me back..

She wanted it BACK.

I’m sorry, but excuse me?  Once you give a person something, it’s theirs.  The general ‘no-takesies-backsies’ rule applies.  Oh, I’m sorry- are you in a financial rough spot?  Where exactly does that put me, a 20 hour a week (if I’m lucky), 7.50 an hour college student, who pays their own bills?  I suppose she really must have been in great need if she would do such a thing as revoke a gift to her child!  I mean, what mother could do that, being fully aware of her offspring’s financial status?  My mother.

She’s the selfish type, I assure you.  Also I’m the middle child if that doesn’t just paint the prettiest picture you ever did see, I don’t know how to go on with this rant..

Maybe it was that shiny, new computer she just bought for my ungrateful sister.  My no-job-having, no-chore-doing, disrespectful, bitch of a sister.  Oh, she definitely earned that, while I have to pay for everything for myself, however pragmatic, or actually even earn it.  I’m completely okay with earning things- it would be douchey not to be okay with that.

Time to rant about something less legitimate of an issue.

My bedroom walls!

I haven’t made any progress since my post yesterday, though I did put some effort forth.  I have 3 walls to address.  1.  above my bed (which I have started), 2. above my desk (biggest blank space in existence), and 3. above my dinky dresser (there’s also a door on that wall which doesn’t open so it’s awkward and somewhat difficult to imagine anything for over it).

At the moment, I’m concentrating on the largest wall.. I have post-it’s of quotes I admire just over my desk and I think I might do a branch off that into some quote/ post-it frenzie picture thing..

I truly have no idea what I’m doing.

At any rate, all this blankness is keeping me up at night.  It genuinely is.  I prefer clutter.  This expanse of whiteness freaks me out and messes with my spatial awareness, or rather, how I feel about the space that I notice around me.  It’s a formidable foe indeed..

Tables, They Turn Sometimes

“Alone we stay and together we fall apart.
I think I’ll be alright.
I’m working so I don’t have to try so hard;
tables, they turn sometimes”

the Strokes

I haven’t posted anything quite a while.. I have been busy, but not to the extent of no down time;  I’ve had plenty of that.  I’ve been sitting around and twiddling my thumbs, thinking of how to get along.  I’ve also been trying to fill out my blank, barren, horrible walls.  They’re such a farce and disappointment;  I can’t stand blank walls.  I prefer clutter, something going on.  Oddly enough, I find clutter comforting and emptiness suffocating.

So I got a huge roll of drawing paper and cut out an impossible figure and did my stupid little design thing that i do on it and put it up on my wall..  It seemed ever emptier.  I suppose now that there’s finally something there magnifies just how much room it has to be lonely.  So, I started straightaway on things to post around it.  i cut out stylized shapes that parallel the design-thing that I have a tendency toward when drawing and drew willy-nilly surrealism in it.  It’s certainly developing into an interesting wall, but it’s still just one of my vacuous walls.  Also, it’s no where near satisfactorily cluttered.  I really don’t know how to approach adding on to it, but it needs to be done if I want to be able to sleep contentedly at night.

IMG_0062 IMG_0041 IMG_0050Needless to say, I had no idea what I was going for or trying to accomplish in the first place..

This wall has a long way to go yet, that’s not to mention the other 2, which are obscenely bare.  I just worry if I don’t get them done before classes start, they’ll forever be barren and that’s no productive environment for me.

Well, I best get back on that.. I’m thinking of incorporating a nature element to it as with roots and other various plants.. Maybe branch off of the wishie in the surreal collage I already have up and put a design into the floaty seeds (I have no idea what else to call them).

soo many options…

Daily Prompt: Opposite Day

Ceilings are, oddly enough, more interesting than everyone assumes- they deserve more attention.

Hoot n’ Holler

“You make me want to pick up a guitar
and celebrate the myriad ways that I love you.
Can’t you see what you’ve done to my heart

and soul.”




Not the most appropriate quote for this post but I’m listening to Interpol at the moment so it’s okay.

So.  It’s ultra hot out and I was wearing shorts.  Just showin’ off my gams, you know how it is (I usually don’t wear short-shorts, but is was just so dern hot out)..  So, to compensate for exposing basically all of my legs I wore a T-shirt; I feel soo uncomfortable to wear super shorts and a tank top.  Really, I fell like a hussy so I don’t oft do that.  Unless, perhaps, I’m at home.

Anyway.. I decided to wander about the area and see what’s what and about a block away from my apartment some guy drives by and whistles at me.  Some middle-aged guy.. no big deal… It was barely a block from my place

I thought, “So this is how this walk is going to be..” -_-

I was out walking for about an hour and a total of 5 older men whistled or did some such other nonsense.. FIVE.  I wasn’t out for very long. Just why..  I mean, even if they weren’t 20+ years older than me (-_-) do they really think that hootin’ and hollerin’ successfully catches the ladies?  Is it such an enthralling snare that just isn’t to be resisted?  It seems as though that’s how they feel about it.. Really, the only ladies who I’ve seen flattered by these tactics are trashy ones; if you went on a date with a guy who, when he initially saw you, said, “damn girrrl, look at dem legs!” you are trashy and I don’t consider you to even be a lady, and I’m not even sorry for saying it.

This has happened to me with guys my age, but I remain unimpressed.  I would prefer a guy spoke actual accepted sentences to me rather than hollering at me about my gams.  Of course, gams are legs, just putting that out there..

Needless to say, I think I’ll keep with company when I walk around- at the very least in hot weather..

Classy Café Blogger

“You know, you can’t keep letting it get you down
and you can’t keep dragging that dead weight around.
If there  ain’t all that much to lug around
better run like hell when you hit the ground.”



I am in such a cliché moment right now.

Picture-painting time:

I’m sitting in a cafe at a high-stoolled table by a floor-to-ceilling window, overlooking a rainy day in the city and I’m blogging..

Lancaster is a pretty sweet place.  Granted, there isn’t really anything back at the apartment to do and you really just go somewhere to hang around anyway, except there’s always coffee- or ice cream.  I can dig it.  Still don’t have much to say, but that’s okay.

We went to a farmer’s market and saw a a guy in a camo shirt with a light saber strapped at his waist.  I’m going to say it made the trip worth while.

Work starts monday.  I will be a cashier at a food store, like  a boss, I know.  Training day 1 I am just a lowly bagger, but I can dig it. I am ready to start working, seeing as I have rent and school things to be supplying with money.  Once I get into the swing of things ima try to pick up as many hours as possible.  Nothing to do at home, still a bit awkward with the roomies and 2 months to the start of school so I’ve got the time and I certainly need the money.


There’s so much to do, to get done, to get together..