At Least I Know I’ll Never Sleep At Night

“at least I know I’ll never
sleep at night,
I’ll always lie awake
until the mo(u)rning light.
this is something that I’ll never control.
my nerves will be the death of me,

I know.”

City and Colour


I’m so perturbed today..

Just got an email about a 103 dollar ATM withdraw from my bank account and I haven’t been to the bank.

Which bank was it withdrawn from?  A citizen’s bank- I’m wells fargo..

Where is this bank?  Down the street from my parents’ house. Yes, my mother withdrew money from my account.

Why you may ask?  Well, it’s quite simple:  she decided she wanted the money she gave to me back..

She wanted it BACK.

I’m sorry, but excuse me?  Once you give a person something, it’s theirs.  The general ‘no-takesies-backsies’ rule applies.  Oh, I’m sorry- are you in a financial rough spot?  Where exactly does that put me, a 20 hour a week (if I’m lucky), 7.50 an hour college student, who pays their own bills?  I suppose she really must have been in great need if she would do such a thing as revoke a gift to her child!  I mean, what mother could do that, being fully aware of her offspring’s financial status?  My mother.

She’s the selfish type, I assure you.  Also I’m the middle child if that doesn’t just paint the prettiest picture you ever did see, I don’t know how to go on with this rant..

Maybe it was that shiny, new computer she just bought for my ungrateful sister.  My no-job-having, no-chore-doing, disrespectful, bitch of a sister.  Oh, she definitely earned that, while I have to pay for everything for myself, however pragmatic, or actually even earn it.  I’m completely okay with earning things- it would be douchey not to be okay with that.

Time to rant about something less legitimate of an issue.

My bedroom walls!

I haven’t made any progress since my post yesterday, though I did put some effort forth.  I have 3 walls to address.  1.  above my bed (which I have started), 2. above my desk (biggest blank space in existence), and 3. above my dinky dresser (there’s also a door on that wall which doesn’t open so it’s awkward and somewhat difficult to imagine anything for over it).

At the moment, I’m concentrating on the largest wall.. I have post-it’s of quotes I admire just over my desk and I think I might do a branch off that into some quote/ post-it frenzie picture thing..

I truly have no idea what I’m doing.

At any rate, all this blankness is keeping me up at night.  It genuinely is.  I prefer clutter.  This expanse of whiteness freaks me out and messes with my spatial awareness, or rather, how I feel about the space that I notice around me.  It’s a formidable foe indeed..


3 responses to “At Least I Know I’ll Never Sleep At Night

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